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Fatima felt mesmerized… she felt travelling back in time… Sunday afternoon. Heavy rains all across the city. Sitting on her father’s lap , Fatima is busy reading aloud the headlines from the copy of telegraph in father’s hand. Reading each syllable in a sing song tone and dangling her feet back and forth at the same time… Patrick and Samuel whizzes by, trying to catch each other and her mother instructing the cook how to prepare the perfect sambhar in the kitchen. ….
Fatima wakes up from her gentle reverie. It’s not 1970 anymore and she is not a girl of ten …. Nor are Patrick and Samuel (her twin brothers), 8 years old. She is all grown up… withered and beaten with the rough times she has faced…. She does not have her best friend, her daddy with her anymore…. She is all alone… all by herself. She simply sighs and gets up to finish her daily chores.
‘’ Where the hell have you been Fatima?’’ shouted Anna from the hallway. ‘’ I have been looking for you all over the house! Do you have any responsibility at all?? You were to help me with cleaning and cooking right?? My friends should be here any moment! How could you do this to me?? ‘’
‘’ I .. I just dozed off Anna… I am so sorry… I completely forgot… I I will assist you right away… please do not tell Patrick atleast about this…. I promise I will finish all the work…’’ Fatima responded.
‘’ well alright, I wouldn’t, but make sure all the work gets done in 45 minutes’’. Anna picked up her purse and headed out to attend the evening mass .
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Fatima was tired – at the age of 50 you do not expect her to be fit and running about doing the chores . She has been doing this now for years put together…. 5 or maybe 7.. just to ensure that Patrick and Anna are pleased and happy. She could consider moving to Hyderabad, where Samuel now lived, but then he too had a family… she couldn’t possibly leave her home here for anything. After her parents, it had always been Patrick. They had promised each other to stay together whatever came their way…. Fatima gave up everything to make sure her brothers got the very best in their lives. Her income and savings all were used up for her brothers' marriages and even to help Patrick start his business….
She sold all her jewelry and land all for her brothers. She never failed as a sister.. but fate was not that kind to her… Anna ruined her perfect home with her dominance… controlling Patrick‘s life and never letting the siblings share the same bond ever again. Samuel, disturbed by himself, with his delinquent son and sick wife still made efforts to help Fatima- afterall she was his best sibling. But Fatima always gave more importance to Patrick – the better looking and the smarter one. Still, Samuel’s love never lessened….. it infact grew day by day….
Fatima now realized it all. Things weren’t the way she had perceived. Too many hardships ruled her life.. and she was forced against her will to live like a servant today…. Managing only 2 meals a day… and getting to stay at the attic all by herself. She felt no grief and sadness… she just wished she could recognize the real friends in her life earlier….. alas… she was a fool blinded by her unconditional love for Patrick that ruined her life completely : Refused to marry her childhood sweetheart James, only for the fear of staying away from Pat and Sam, even gave up her chance to study in UK for her Masters in English – her daddy’s dream – only for Pat as he equally needed money for his education. And , gave up her passion – her dance.
Fatima now had only rare fleeting memories of happy times…. Visits during the summer to Sam, getting the house by herself during the mornings when she could dance around to the sound of silence. Having reveries of her childhood, reading her father’s books from the library when Pat and Ann were asleep. But most of these were outnumbered by the bitter days of torture ….
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After setting up the dinner table for Anna’s friends , Fatima started with the vacuum cleaner at 18.35. She felt drowsy… it was different today, not the usual fatigue that she daily experienced. She however could not stop now. She was in no mood to listen to Anna’s banter again. She had heard enough already … just hurried with her work to make sure to go the terrace before the rain stopped…. But Fatima did not feel right. Her head was spinning and dizziness consumed her. Somehow, Fatima finished all the work just as the clock ticked 19.00. She felt strange. Sweating profusely, she tried running up the attic to grab her medicines. But her legs failed her… she could not move…. She felt too weak… The phone started ringing in the library… Fatima tried again but still was unable to get herself to move… Giving up, Fatima collapsed .
The dancing girl moved swiftly before her eyes. She was happy and carefree. She swirled in circles in her beautiful ballet outfit. She was pretty and young. The audience was in awe of her performance. Fatima’s daddy also sat proudly among the audience with her brothers on his lap. The cheer, the clapping, the appreciation was over powering… Fatima felt peace… she felt her feet move with the same joy….the rain outside seemed nearer … the sound in sync with the dancing girl. Fatima finally felt the pain receding… she felt lighter and happier … she realized her time to get free had finally arrived.
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