Liquid wisdom

He gulped one drink after the other.
Time froze engulfed in vacuum.
His mind remained foggy.
Thoughts continued getting lost in his mind's labyrinth.

The liquor was working it's magic.
The distracting cacophony seemed distant.
After 36 sleepless hours finally, the pen moved.
Whiskey indeed, was his solace.

Free she was now

Free she was now,

Free and aloof from the cynicism of society,

The sorrow seemed so distant as if it belonged to a past life of hers. 

The throb in her chest subsided too.

Only happy sounds reverberated in her mind.

Free she was now,

Worry took a backseat. 

Misty eyes hid the impenetrable chronicles.

Petulant nights and unhappy verbose vaporized.

The ‘Family portrait’ seemed immaculate.

Free she was now,

HE was gone too. 

His voice seemed distant, his appearance just a faraway silhouette. 

Despite the indelible mark, the absence was liberating.

Forever is just an illusion.

Free she was now,

She opened her eyes.

With haste, the tears were fixed.

Drawn towards the edge of ecstasy, the crack faded.

She was back dancing among the crowd.

The Other

The sound sleep got disturbed as the lizard fell unannounced on top of him. She lay awake facing her back, ignorant of the intrusion. Fool that she was as it took only a second to lose him to the slimy grasp of that ugly charm. 

Amina (inspired by A loop in time – Wally Brill)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWb9dmFTUOI

Obscure visuals flashed before her eyes….  Splashes of red, purple and maroon seem to block her view… the desert seems so full of colour now (like how she had always imagined) - and did she see some plants towards the market side? Small and green shoots growing in the distance like some hope in the middle of nowhere…. The green mixed with the sky’s palette to produce a beautiful shaded effect against the setting sun…

Suddenly, hollow figures and figurines kept chasing behind her…grey, lanky, hollow and lifeless…. One pulled her hair from behind… the other one caught of her right leg and began pinning it to the sands… she could feel the nails piercing through the flesh of her feet, then her Hijab was dragged and removed from her head… her hair seemed to come off as well.. she felt strange… looked down, and she was slowly getting consumed by the cacti from her ammi’s courtyard… then she saw ammi standing at distance calling out her name ‘’ Bibi, ruk ja… ruk ja…’’ – Abbajaan stood by the wall and stared on… she knew she could not stop now…she knew what would happen next…  She just could not imagine going through it again…

She kept running and running for hours …. She felt thirsty, maybe hungry even… but she could not stop now… the figurines seemed to have vanished and followed her no more… the pain ,the weeping noises, the shrieks  receded too… now she was just on her own against the silhouette of the night sky….

Fear and pain gave her strength to carry on…. By midnight she finally made it to the border…. She could see the light from the village …

Amina finally stopped. She had made it to the good side…. The torture, abuse, whiplash, Abbahjaan, Ammi, Sakhina all seemed to dissipate from her memory….  She tried and smiled through her slit parched lips for the first time in her 10 years.

Fatima

The rain outside seemed incessant. The entire day it has been pouring and it seemed certain that it had no intention to stop. The plants atop the neighbour’s rooftop had drooped down completely now being soaked in the rain the entire day. The sweet smell of earth filled the air around… the rhythmic movement of water also added to the wonderful moment. The trees too swayed drugged in the moment.

                                                               ***********

Fatima felt mesmerized… she felt travelling back in time… Sunday afternoon. Heavy rains all across the city. Sitting on her father’s lap , Fatima is busy reading aloud the headlines from the copy of telegraph in father’s hand. Reading each syllable in a sing song tone and dangling her feet back and forth at the same time… Patrick and Samuel whizzes by, trying to catch each other and her mother instructing the cook how to prepare the perfect sambhar in the kitchen. ….

Fatima wakes up from her gentle reverie. It’s not 1970 anymore and she is not a girl of ten …. Nor are Patrick and Samuel (her twin brothers), 8 years old. She is all grown up… withered and beaten with the rough times she has faced…. She does not have her best friend, her daddy with her anymore…. She is all alone… all by herself. She simply sighs and gets up to finish her daily chores.

‘’ Where the hell have you been Fatima?’’ shouted Anna from the hallway. ‘’ I have been looking for you all over the house! Do you have any responsibility at all?? You were to help me with cleaning and cooking right?? My friends should be here any moment! How could you do this to me?? ‘’

‘’ I .. I just dozed off Anna… I am so sorry… I completely forgot… I I will assist you right away… please do not tell Patrick atleast about this…. I promise I will finish all the work…’’ Fatima responded.

‘’ well alright, I wouldn’t, but make sure all the work gets done in 45 minutes’’. Anna picked up her purse and headed out to attend the evening mass .

                                                                       **************

Fatima was tired – at the age of 50 you do not expect her to be fit and running about doing the chores . She has been doing this now for years put together…. 5 or maybe 7.. just to ensure that Patrick and Anna are pleased and happy. She could consider moving to Hyderabad, where Samuel now lived, but then he too had a family… she couldn’t possibly leave her home here for anything. After her parents, it had always been Patrick. They had promised each other to stay together whatever came their way…. Fatima gave up everything to make sure her brothers got the very best in their lives. Her income and savings all were used up for her brothers' marriages and even to help Patrick start his business….

She sold all her jewelry and land all for her brothers. She never failed as a sister.. but fate was not that kind to her… Anna ruined her perfect home with her dominance… controlling Patrick‘s life and never letting the siblings share the same bond ever again. Samuel, disturbed by himself, with his delinquent son and sick wife still made efforts to help Fatima- afterall she was his best sibling. But Fatima always gave more importance to Patrick – the better looking and the smarter one. Still, Samuel’s love never lessened….. it infact grew day by day….

Fatima now realized it all. Things weren’t the way she had perceived. Too many hardships ruled her life.. and she was forced against her will to live like a servant today…. Managing only 2 meals a day… and getting to stay at the attic all by herself.  She felt no grief and sadness… she just wished she could recognize the real friends in her life earlier….. alas… she was a fool blinded by her unconditional love for Patrick that ruined her life completely : Refused to marry her childhood sweetheart James, only for the fear of staying away from Pat and Sam, even gave up her chance to study in UK for her Masters in English – her daddy’s dream – only for Pat as he equally needed money for his education.  And , gave up her passion – her dance.

Fatima now had only rare fleeting memories of happy times…. Visits during the summer to Sam, getting the house by herself during the mornings when she could dance around to the sound of silence. Having reveries of her childhood, reading her father’s books from the library when Pat and Ann were asleep.  But most of these were outnumbered by the bitter days of torture ….

                                                  ********************************

After setting up the dinner table for Anna’s friends  , Fatima started with the vacuum cleaner at 18.35. She felt drowsy… it was different today, not the usual fatigue that she daily experienced.  She however could not stop now. She was in no mood to listen to Anna’s banter again. She had heard enough already … just hurried with her work  to make sure to go the terrace before the rain stopped….  But Fatima did not feel right. Her head was spinning and dizziness consumed her.  Somehow, Fatima finished all the work just as the clock ticked 19.00. She felt strange. Sweating profusely, she tried running up the attic to grab her medicines. But her legs failed her… she could not move…. She felt too weak… The phone started ringing in the library… Fatima tried again but still was unable to get herself to move… Giving up, Fatima collapsed .

The dancing girl moved swiftly before her eyes. She was happy and carefree. She swirled in circles in her beautiful ballet outfit. She was pretty and young. The audience was in awe of her performance. Fatima’s daddy also sat proudly among the audience with her brothers on his lap. The cheer, the clapping, the appreciation was over powering… Fatima felt peace… she felt her feet move with the same joy….the rain outside seemed nearer … the sound in sync with the dancing girl. Fatima finally felt the pain receding… she felt lighter and happier … she realized her time to get free had finally arrived. 

The smiling lady

Chapter I

9:40 AM: Waiting in the scorching heat at the city bus stop for more than fifteen minutes isn't really fun. That too, there is no platform, and to add to the misery, only one bus ... Sigh! Nina felt terrible. She left on time from home to make sure she reaches her office on time. There are multiple meetings scheduled for the day, coupled with some work on presentations...

But things just don't seem to ever work in her favour. Time went by and she kept waiting for the bus to show up...to feel little better she decides to listen to some music to sooth her.. Tracks by Michael Buble and John Mayer indeed does the trick! However, the bus still is not there.

Nina, now gets fidgety and paces up and down the platform, bumps into a few hurrying lot, and meekishly apologises. She sees the vegetable vendor, aged between 35 and 45 ( she is very bad with guessing anyone's age!) sitting in the corner, with the same disguted frown. '' Must be the heat''. Nina thought. It is infact intolerable nowadays. The city was never like this.... it used to be much cooler and pleasant. One could easily manage to remain outdoors with even an umbrella. But now, Sunscreens, sunglasses, and umbrellas even if used together don't create much of a difference...

She glances around...... her head dizzy with the heat... throat parched with thirst... and discomfort radiating out of her body...sees similar expressions on others too. Women, school children, old couples, young men - all waiting....

Then suddenly, Nina saw her. From a distance , she did not look any different. Clad in a neatly tied Saree, she was busy in a conversation with an old man- wait a minute.... Nina had seen him before... oh yes... in the same bus..... and found something very odd.... he was very old and looked very lonely... but he always smiled! Never a frown could be seen on his wrinkled face. Nina turned towards the lady again. She was still busy conversing... but there was something really extra ordinary...

There was a happy aura.... she could immediately feel it.... She looked so happy and peaceful. It was so good to see so much satisfaction and happiness at that hour of the day. She definitely belonged to the lower middle class, that could be understood from her attire. But still she looked so much at peace with herself and her surroundings.... She had this lovely vermillion bindi on her forehead, and that big happy smile. Nina, never knew, how this lady was going to affect her life.....and change it forever.....

10:05 AM: the bus came... people pushed , shoved and finally got on to the bus.Nina too managed a seat after wrestling herself with the other ladies. The same ordeal, sigh! Nina just could not wait to reach her office and get started with her day.

The lady, was sitting much behind her and hence Nina forgot all about her....

Chapter II

Nina, a Marketing Manager at a business firm always tried to start off her days with a positive note. Getting up on time, having breakfast and making it on time at the bus stop. However, things always do not work in our favour. Nina, too, had a handful of these happy start to her weekdays... Crowded buses, the heat, tension about her future studies, worry about her ailing parents, troubled job.... all seem to rule her mind. One good thing however, that brings happy moments are about her boyfriend. She completely adores him, and shares a very healthy and transparent relationship. But mornings are terrible ! The whole 2 hour journey always seem painful and endless.....


Nina managed to reach the bus stop at 9: 30 am. She feels happy. She will definitely not be late for work. Waiting for the bus , she scans her surroundings swiftly and recognises some fellow travellers. Everyone seemed lost in their thoughts.... just waiting to get started with the day- after all it is much dreaded Monday! There is still 4 more days till weekend.  Nina is pretty relaxed.... she has some important meetings planned for the day, coupled with some job interviews- she is hopeful that she will get something better soon.... Not that her collegues are impossible, the work atmosphere is just too lax . Things work at a snail's pace on certain days, and there is no decorum too. She is sure that she will get something which she desires, and get to work in a better managed workplace.


Lost in her thoughts, Nina barely missed her..... The smiling lady. There she was again, waiting among the lot for the bus to come.... the same lovely smile adorned her face and it seemed to cheer the people instantly. Nina thought how wonderful to see such pure happiness among strangers. She realised then, happiness is not what we want to get, it is something which is always around us.... we just should be able to see it.....

She slowly observed that the smiling lady had developed this wonderful bond with all the passengers... she never ignored a single person- always making sure to smile and greet everyone- even sometimes fight with the bus driver who speeds off ignoring few of the waiting lot. She even made sure almost everyone got a seat. How selfless and caring.... sometimes even lending her ear to listen to someone's domestic problems- and all this she did her wonderful smile! Nina, found it very strange yet admiring that such an insignificant figure could affect so many lives.... and it was not only Nina.... all the people longed to see her walk through the platform.


Her day, her week, infact her entire month went extremely well. She clinched some crucial business deals, got some interesting interview calls and has never again missed her bus! Nina prays each day and thanks God for the wonderful life she is blessed with... and silently thanks the Smiling lady too for showing her the way..... Nina did get to sit next to her a couple of times, and even had a conversation.... but never got to know her name...
But lately, things aren't the same....
The smiling lady seemed to have disappeared... it has been almost a month and she has not come to the bus stop. No one knows why but she is just gone... but Nina is positive that she will see her again....after all  Nina needs to thank her for all she had done unknowingly.

My favourite song: How I wish we all could feel the same way!!

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Oh yeah!